The Stormcloak Experience
by AvatarExorcists
Summary: Ulfric and Tullius have an interesting relationship, they keep meeting up in random places and a lot of stuff goes down. Any names you don't recognize are references to mine and my friends characters that we made whilst playing Skyrim. (I.E. Meese, Earl, Neko P***s-chan, etc) Rated M for coarse language and some... disturbing mishappenings. PAIRING: ULFRIC/TULLIUS
1. The Stormcloak Experience part I

General Tullius sat down on his bed, and put his head in his hands. "It's going to be a long night..." he thought to himself. Except, it wasn't long in terms of time. Long as in the size of the _**PENIS**_that was going up his ass. Ulfric Stormcloak came in and sat on top of General Tullius, fresh out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel.

"I'm just gonna let it all hang loose and air dry, alright?" Ulfric said with a smirk.

Somewhere off in the distance, Earl did her laugh. You know the one I'm talking about, yeah...

Tullius pulled his lips into a wry smile. "Not. A. Fucking. Chance. When this night is over, _**nothing**_will be dry." Tullius looked down and grabbed the towel that Ulfric was wearing wrapped around his waist. Ulfric narrowed his eyes, daring Tullius to go further. Tullius gulped, and started choking on his own spit. He got into a raging coughing fit, ruining the moment.

Ulfric rolled his eyes. "Typical, you Imperials have no idea how to behave in a..." he narrowed his eyes and did a joker-like grin "_Sexual manner_"

Tullius frowned loudly. "I do so!"

"Prove it."

Tullius sat up. He had ended up on the floor from coughing his freaking guts up. He level ten glomped Ulfric onto the bed, and pulled his towel off to reveal a beautiful penis.

"Come get the Stormcock, baby" Ulfric growled.

Tullius took off his armor. His legs were ever more freaky when naked.

"#ChickenLegs! Huehuehuehue!" Meese said. She had been spying on them from the window this whole time.

Oblivious to Meese, Tullius wrapped his mouth around the Stormcock. It tasted like Skyrim's freedom. Ulfric slapped Tullius and told him to turn around. Tullius obeyed, and Ulfric stuck the mighty Stormcock up Tullius' tight butthole.

"YEEEEOOOWWW!" Tullius screamed. He then realized how **sexually deprived **he was... And how bad he was at making sex sounds... He sounded fucking constipated. Tullius just sorta bounced on Ulfric's dick for a while, then they switched. After about 25 minutes or so of awkwardly sticking his penis in and out of Ulfric's ass trying to find that "sensitive spot", Tullius finally found it.

Ulfric blushed a deep red. "Oh! Ooooh! Sweet... Sweet and holy Talos!" he exclaimed. Once that was done, Ulfric whispered to Tullius "Put your head right there." He pointed at the Stormcock. Tullius blushed a cute lil pink color and did as he was told.

Ulfric stuck his penis through Tullius' ear. "Its all fun and games until someone takes a penis to the ear." he whispered.

The Stormcloaks won the Civil War.

**THE END~**


	2. The Stormcloak Experience part II

General Tullius pulled back the shower curtain, and there it was. It was so big, and so hairy, he just had to grab it. And he did. He pulled it out of the drain. The Dovahkiin sure does shed a lot. The General threw the ball of hair in the garbage, turned on the shower and hopped in. Suddenly he felt something large and meaty grace his back.

"_The_ Stormcock" he thought has he shuddered. He turned around, and sure enough, there was Ulfric Stormcloak, penis and all. Tullius dropped the soap he had been scrubbing those tiny little balls with.

"Oh shit. Silly me." Said Tullius as he bent down to pick up the soap. While he was bent over Ulfric stuck the Mighty Stormcock up General Tullius' tender butthole. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW!" cried Tullius. He tried to stand up to yank the Stormcock out of his butt, but he slipped and fell, taking Ulfric with him.

"Well this has been an... interesting encounter." Whispered Ulfric, the scent of penis on his breath.

General Tullius suddenly farted, sending Ulfric flying. Ulfric was absolutely flabbergasted at the power of such a tiny virgin butthole. Ulfric then decided that he could not be outdone. No... He firmly grasped a bottle of shampoo in his left hand and bent down over General Tullius once again. Ulfric's right arm slithered up around Tullius' head and he put his hand around his trembling mouth.

"Sssshhh." He whispered into Tullius' ear. Then, with a violent force, he shoved the shampoo bottle all the way up Tullius' ass, so far that he began coughing up shampoo. "MUAHAHAHAHAHA. I WIN!" Ulfric cried, feeling victorious.

Suddenly Neko Penis-chan entered the room. "You hoe." She said to Ulfric. He then stabbed Neko Penis-chan and she started bleeding eyeliner. "#...2emo...4u..." Said Neko Penis-chan as her body dropped to the floor. Ulfric then left to do some Nord stuff.

The end~


	3. The Stormcloak Experience part III

**A/N - Penis-san is, yes, as you probably guessed, one of mine and my friends playable characters. We've made a lot of different files okay? xD**

* * *

General Tullius walked into a tall, fat building. It was the grand opening of the Horse Dick museum in Skyrim and no way in hell was he going to miss it.

"Oh, golly!" exclaimed Tullius as he got a good view of the interior of the museum. He basked in the aura of the beautiful place. He began to skip around like a little child, humming "Barbie Girl" as he went along, looking at the horse dicks...

...Hours passed. Tullius was so engulfed in the beauty of the horse dicks that he had gotten himself lost.

"Well fucking penis fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck this fuck your mom fucking hell fuck.. Gosh darnit! D:" cried Tullius.

Suddenly, as if drawn by fate, he found something beautiful. A horse dick... It looked just like the Stormcock!

"AAAHHh! KAWAII!" Tullius cried. His tiny little penis popped up, begging him to stroke it lovingly.

The horse Stormcock suddenly rose. It began shaking and you could feel the building quake and you could hear the rumble. The horse dick came. Tullius opened up his flowery pink umbrella to protect himself, but what met the umbrella was, not horse semen, but... **Ulfric Stormcloak.**

****"OMG!" cried Tullius. He felt it. The Stormcock rose high in the air.

"Helllooooo!" sang Ulfric.

"How did you know I was here?" asked Tullius

Ulfric motioned towards the Stormcock with his hand. "Tullius detector." he murmured.

"Oh hot dayum." Said Penis-san, the security guard.

Ulfric began to remove Tullius' armor. "Mmmmm..." said Ulfric upon seeing Tullius' dick "It's grown well."

Tullius blushed "S-S-Senpai-chan!"

Ulfric's clothes evaporated and he once again stuck the mighty Stormcock up Tullius' broken and worn butthole. He massaged Tullius' legs. "Sweet, sweet #chickenlegs..." then he took a bite out of the #chickenlegs. Ulfric was a muthafuckin zombie.

"Y-y-you lied to me!" cried Tullius "You said you'd always be my senpai! But now you're only a zombie-chan!" Ulfric's Stormcock was still inside Tullius. The hard, **_throbbing penis_**came at the taste of the #chickenlegs. The zombie Stormcock semen was released into the butthole of Tullius. It started pouring out of his ears, and Tullius transformed into a zombie. They both ate each other romantically. The only thing left was Tullius' poor lil pink flowery umbrella. It shed a tear, it was so alone without Tullius. But then it fucked all the horse dicks in the museum...

...Sassy the Horse woke up. Damn, that was quite a dream. No more spiked hay for him, no sir.

**THE END~ (For now)**


	4. The Stormcloak Experience part IV

**A/N: **Ignore that whole Nevada thing, its an inside joke between my friend and I ^.^

* * *

General Tullius was skipping down a pretty pathway dedicated to pretty panties with flowers on them. Suddenly, he came across a glorious sight. A zoo! Here, in Skyrim! Oh, jolly joy! He skipped with his arms waving back and forth towards the zoo. Upon entering, he saw a ravishing beauty take his breath away. Two zebras were making sweet, sweet love under the hot sun of Nevada in a snowstorm. He felt all the blood in his body run south. Tullius' tiny cock bobbed up like a dead fish in salty water. No one noticed this, of course, his dick was too small. Out of nowhere you could hear a loud **_THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!_**and the animal cages began shaking. Ulfric Stormcloak came in on a mighty fat Heffalump.

"My Tullius detector was going off, and sure enough, here you are, you hoe!" Cried Ulfric as he hopped down from Heffalump's back. He had a _massive boner_, making Tullius' hard-on look like nothing more than a floppy piece of skin.

Ulfric pulled Tullius into a big bear hug and began sniffing his clean-shaven face. "Fuck me. Right here, right now." he whispered into Tullius' ear.

Tullius responded instantaneously. He whipped off his clothes and a gorilla came over and ate Ulfric's clothes off. Tullius pushed the gorilla away, and what stood before him... It was so big, and so hairy, he just had to grab it. And he did. He stuck it in his mouth and gave the Stormcock a blow job. Heffalump wanted in on the action, so he charged at the two love birds and stuck his trunk up Tullius' butthole, and then Ulfric's.

"Hey, look everybody!" Cried Meese "Its a douche-kabob!" She pointed her finger at the two and the whole zoo started laughing. Even the animals' food was laughing.

Hours passed. It was 6:66 pm and Satan was upon us. But Ulfric Stormcloak and General Tullius did not care. They were atop the Eiffel Tower fucking each other in the buttknuckle, not a care in the world. Ulfric puked on Tullius. The force of the vomit sent Tullius flying of the Eiffel Tower. He fell, hot and wet semen still pouring fresh from his penis. He landed on a giraffe's neck, from the aching anus. The Stormcock exploded, and General Tullius was in the mood for some Tacos.

_**THE END~ (FOR NOW...)**_


End file.
